5 Tips to Manage Overwhelm

The exact solution to managing your overwhelm will depend on what the source of your overwhelm is. You can also be suffering from more than one source of overwhelm. Here are five tips to help you manage the most common sources of overwhelm.

1. Find support.

Is your overwhelm related to your packed schedule? If so, one solution is to get some help in the form of contractors, employees, or volunteers. A quick fix is to list five to ten of the most mundane daily or weekly tasks you do, and hire and train an intern on a part-time basis to do those tasks for you. Even a few hours a week to start will be a big relief.

2. Set boundaries.

Is your overwhelm due to client demands? Learn how to control the flow and limit the channels of inbound requests for your time and expertise. A couple of ways to do that include cutting off certain communications:

a. Schedule all phone calls. Don’t answer an unscheduled call. If this sounds impossible, try doing it one day a week to start with. Let your clients know you’ll be available for them four days a week, but the fifth day is for you.
b. Limit the communication channels that you will respond to. Don’t answer faxes or social media messages, as an example.
c. Check email only twice a day. I know. We’re addicted, and this is much harder to do than it sounds.

There are many other ways you can set boundaries, but this is a start.

3. Prioritize.

Is your overwhelm due to wanting to have it all? A lot of times we stay busy doing things that are urgent but not important. Then we get overwhelmed because we do not get to the important things. One way to solve this is to put your to-do list in priority order. Carve out at least one hour a day to work on the most important thing on your list. Some coaches call this your Power Hour. You’ll be thrilled at how much progress you will make in just one week.

4. Carve out de-stress time.

Is your overwhelm mostly emotional (for whatever reason)? Critical for your emotional well-being is to make time for laughter, relaxation, friends, family, and whatever you do to blow off steam. Our mindset, moods, and overall mental state can contribute mightily to overwhelm. We now know from neuroscience that learning how to de-stress is a set of skills everyone can acquire and significantly benefit from. It’s a field called resilience if you want to Google more about it.

5. Perspective and purpose.

Is your overwhelm due to a variety of factors? When times get overwhelming, what keeps me going is maintaining perspective and understanding my purpose in life. It’s important not to blow little things out of proportion. If I’ve had a tough day, I remember that I don’t live in a war zone, I’m not in prison or held hostage, there hasn’t been a hurricane or flood, and I haven’t been a crime victim. My “tough day” suddenly becomes a great day, and if I got to spend even a minute helping someone or serving my purpose, then all the better.

How to Identify Your Character Strengths

How many times a day do we tell ourselves with the little voice in our head that we’re falling short of the ideal we have for ourselves?  “I forgot to add the salt, so I ruined the recipe.” “I’m not good enough.” “I was mistaken.” “I’m not smart enough.” “I didn’t get picked for the finals.” “Nobody likes me.” And so on.

Instead, why don’t we focus on our strengths?  Chris Peterson underwent an extensive research project to discover 24 positive character strengths that each person has to varying degrees.  They are:

You may or may not be familiar with the DSM: the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders.  It is the standard encyclopedia of mental illnesses that is widely accepted among doctors and psychologists in the mental health field.  It lists categories of illnesses such as schizophrenia and depression.

The people who birthed positive psychology, the study of mental wellness and flourishing, decided they needed a manual too.  They decided to focus on character strengths as one way to measure and record mental wellness.  The VIA (Values in Action) Survey of Character Strengths was developed to fill this need.

I’d highly recommend you take the free VIA Survey of Character Strengths at the University of Pennsylvania’s Authentic Happiness web site:

http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx

The multiple-choice test will take less than 30 minutes and will rank your own strengths based on your answers.  You’ll learn what your top six strengths are.

You can read more about what they mean in your test results as well as on this page:

http://viacharacter.org/VIAClassification/tabid/56/Default.aspx

Once you know your strengths, you’ll be able to use them as a positivity filter in your life.  For example, many people have curiosity as their top strength.  If curiosity ranks high for you, spend a few days thinking about this trait, and notice how it manifests in your actions.  You’ll soon find yourself explaining your behavior by saying “I was just curious.”

When you can seek out ways to bring curiosity, or whatever the top strength is for you, into your life more, such as through cooking a new dish, reading a new genre, or exploring a part of town you didn’t know before, you will improve your emotions.

You may also be able to change your stress level by acknowledging and re-channeling your strengths.  “I’m so curious that it looks like I accidentally committed to too many things this month. I think I’ll call one of them back and cancel so I can relax more and use my curiosity in a different way that doesn’t increase my stress.”

Take the strengths test, and study your results.  List your top six strengths below:

_______________________________________________________________

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Next, think about how your strengths manifest in your actions.  Think also if they tend to stress you out as you fulfill them.

Ask yourself how you can use this information to enjoy your life more based on your strengths, and put that plan into action.

[This is an excerpt from my book “30 Days to a Stress-Free Life.”  Find out more here: http://www.stressfreestrategies.com/]

10 tips for more energy this holiday season

Is keeping a high energy level a challenge for you? Here are a few tips to revitalize your personal energy. Some of these are very simple, so simple you may think they won’t do anything for you. As you read, check to see which ones have slipped from your current daily routine. In that way, you’ll discover how to change your routine to gain more energy.

1. Drink plenty of water. A large amount of the aches, pains, and low energy we have these days is because we are not fully hydrated. Keep a glass of water on your desk at all times and drink up.
2. Listen to your favorite music in the morning instead of the news. If you watch the news in the morning, it can already be draining as you hear about murders, falling stock prices, and scandals. Try popping in a relaxing CD instead. Do this while you are getting ready as well as during your commute time in traffic. I listen to instrumental music (without lyrics) such as classical, new age or new earth (Steven Halpern), and Reiki healing (Deuter). [Reiki is a form of energy healing, in case you are not familiar with the term.]
3. Get a massage on a regular basis. A massage will move around the stress that is stuck in your body. This can sometimes make a big difference in freeing up your energy. You can also exercise vigorously to keep your energy moving.
4. Eat healthy foods. Keep a mental note of how you feel after you’ve eaten particular foods, and you will be able to see what foods affect your energy levels. I always feel great with no digestion slump after eating healthy foods such as salmon/spinach salad, egg whites, whole grain oatmeal with berries, and green tea, to name a few.
5. Stay as relaxed as possible. The stress hormone cortisol can give us energy, but if we rely solely on it, we end up damaging our bodies in the long run. An instant relaxation tip is to breathe deeply three times, right where you are. This completely changes your physiology in an eye blink.
6. Meditate. Sit comfortably still, close your eyes, and go inside your mind. Let your thoughts pass by, and focus only on your breathing, an object, or a chant such as “I am present.” A few minutes of meditation has been shown to be more refreshing than a nap. The benefits are increased focus, better memory, a quieter mind, and contentedness.
7. Stay positive. If you can increase your positive emotions (love, gratitude, hope, joy, peace, pleasure, fun) and reduce your negative emotions (anger, fear, rage, disgust, jealousy, sadness, greed), then you are ahead of the game. Negative emotions sap your energy, and positive emotions refuel your energy. You may decide to choose to eliminate some negative things from your life: negative people, violent movies and TV, and events that take your time and don’t serve you well.
8. Clear your clutter. If every time you walk by the dining room table that is stacked with that unfinished project, you feel drained, then make a change. A little bit of your energy is draining each time you walk by a project that you feel you need to spend time on. If you have five or ten projects like that, you will soon feel like a zombie. Commit to wrapping them up or put them away so you don’t see them every day.
9. Reassess your to do list. Do you really need to do everything on your to do list? For example, do you really need to go to the store for that one item or can you hold off another day? Do you really need another pair of shoes? Do you really need to spend an hour listening to your friend’s break up woes again? Take a look at how you spend your time in light of how that event/task/person is serving you in your life. You may find oodles of freed up time which will free up your energy as well.
10. Sleep well. One of the keys to great health and energy is to get a good night’s sleep every night.

I’m sure you know about many of the items on the list already. Perhaps this article can be a gentle reminder for you to take a look at what habits you’d like to renew that will revitalize you. A change in your daily routine might give you a great boost in your energy.

12 Fast, Low-Cost Tips for a Stress-Less Summer

I don’t want to stress you out, but we really do need to do something about our stress levels. The last survey that came out of the American Psychological Association showed that our kids are getting headaches, having difficulty sleeping, and eating too little or too much due to pressure from school and household finances. The worst part is that the study showed that most parents were not aware of the severity of their children’s stress.

Many adults reported not knowing what to do to change their lifestyle so they could reduce their stress, so it just makes sense to talk about this a little. Here are the most common stress-reducing tasks that some people do, according to the survey:

1. Listen to music.
2. Exercise or walk.
3. Read.
4. Watch TV.
5. Spend time with friends or family.
6. Surf the internet or play video games.
7. Nap.
8. Pray.
9. Eat.
10. Spend time on a hobby.
11. Go to church.
12. Shop.
13. Smoke.
14. Drink.
15. Play sports.

Most of these activities do reduce your stress slightly, and a few are excellent for stress reduction (exercise and spending time with friends and family). Some of them actually increase your stress (watching TV, playing video games, eating, smoking, and drinking even normal amounts).

It’s important to take a big picture perspective to understand stress better. Chronic stress is a negative emotion rooted in fear. It’s your fear system – your fight or flight system designed in cave man days — gone haywire for the 21^st century.

When we can get our fear under control, we can get our stress under control too. Here are some tips you might not normally associate with stress, from my latest book “30 Days to a Stress-Free Life: Simple Strategies for Women Who Want Balance, Bliss, and Big Bucks from Their Business.”

1. Breathe deeply. Do this several times a day or make a habit of it. When you learn how to really breathe, you’ll be taking a micro-vacation each time you do.
2. Set an intention for the day. Do you have a question for the universe? A problem you’re working on at work? A goal you want to achieve? Or even just a theme for the day that you could share as a game with the kids? Set a statement, question, or keyword for the day. As you move through the day, look for things that support your intention. Listen to what your intuition is showing you. Have fun with your theme.
3. Be extra polite to wait staff, service people, receptionists, and customer service agents. This act of kindness will help you feel better yourself.
4. Learn how to change any catastrophic thinking you might have. This is when your mind thinks, “I’ll never be ___.” “I’m always ___.”
   etc.
5. Find something in your day that makes you feel awe-inspired.
6. Avoid talk radio and loud rock music, especially first thing in the morning and late at night when your brain is extra sensitive. Instead play soft instrumentals, classical, or Reiki music that is calming and nurturing.
7. During the 3:00 afternoon blahs at your office, pipe rock music (which is okay at this time) over the sound system or simply turn up your iPod and dance or conga your way around the office.
8. Get rid of any clutter in your environment that when you walk by it, your inner nag voice goes off saying you need to do it.
9. Connect with a coach, mentor, mastermind, or someone who is a support for you.
10. Water your plant and prune its leaves, or stare out the window at a nature scene. Or sit on a park bench and watch the butterflies, birds, babies, or passersby.
11. Sing or whistle. At 87 years old, my dad still whistles every day.
12. Go to bed earlier (at 10:00PM).

Try these low-cost ideas to reduce your stress so you can enjoy summer. If you’d like to find out more about my new book, you can go here:
http://www.stressfreestrategies.com.